


Alone

by Secretfurrydragon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Coarse Language, F/M, NSFW, Physical Abuse, Rescued, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Virgin Reader, Worthless, emotionally abused, explicit sex scene, fat lazy, feeling nothing, give pleasure, hates family, hates self, mentally abused, no hope, showed love, ugly bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-13 12:14:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15364482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretfurrydragon/pseuds/Secretfurrydragon
Summary: The Reader is feeling very depress and is standing on a ledge ready to commit suicide. But a stranger pulls up and helps her. Dean makes her feel loved and wanted and brings her back from the edge. They make love and he shows her how beautiful she is to him. Dean leaves or does he come back for the Reader or is she right back on that ledge?





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Dean shows the Reader how beautiful she is and they make love. He brings her back from the edge of being suicidal.
> 
> Warnings: please do not read if this cause any triggers as your health is more important than this story. Please read the warnings above.
> 
> I know sex doesn’t always solve mental health problems but I needed the Reader to actually feel close to someone and Dean shows her love. 
> 
> Can I let you in on a secret I really don’t like writing sex scenes as I’m really not that good at it at all. 
> 
> I was feeling down so I wrote this to get my anger out.  
> I hope you like it? This is the way I fight my depression and dark thoughts also. 
> 
> Unbeta all mistakes are my own. Comments are greatly appreciated.

Sometimes I feel so alone like the world goes on and I don't feel apart of it. Sometimes I just wish it would stop and leave me alone. It's all too hard the sadness is overwhelming I need to end it all. I'm not in a good headspace at the moment and I know it's only going too get worse.

I've try so many times to be happy and show a happy face but it's hard when your dying inside. Like nothing makes sense anymore. Like why am I feeling this way and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to sleep, and shut the world out. Have no more pain and no more dark thoughts of killing myself.

I have a family who basically ignored me my whole life and a mother who treated us all different. I was the one who was always there and when she was sick I took care of her but I was never good enough for her or them. I never have been and probably never will.  
So I go on alone with no one only my dark thoughts of what my life is. I'm not sure I'm worth saving or getting help this has led me to where I am now.

I am standing on the edge of a ledge looking down at the water. I'm thinking about how bad my life is as I remember all the pain and abuse I suffered over the years. Yes physically pain is nothing on emotional being told your nothing, worthless, no hoper, you a lazy fat bum, fat ugly bitch yes they hurt me real bad to the point of wanting to kill myself.  
So here I am ready to jump I'm standing on the edge between life and death when a black car pulls up. He gets out and looks at me with such sadness in his eyes. His green eyes are looking me with such pain in them as I tell him to go away.

He said, "Hey I just want to help you?" "Don't need your help?"

"Yeah I think I do if you're going to jump?" "What's it to you if I do?"

"I've been where you have many times but there's always something to live for." "I have nothing in my life I want to live for. So just fuck off and leave me alone." "Can I sit here and we talk about it?"

"Don't want to talk to you or anyone just want the pain to stop."

"I know it's like it's eating you on the inside and no one knows what it feels like right."

 A tear slipped down my face as I nodded.

"It's ok to feel that way it is. Their is nothing wrong with you feeling that way."

"Yeah their is something wrong me the people around tell me all the time how much of a waste of space I am."

"No you not. You just need to see the good things about you." "I don't have any?"

"Yes you do?"

"Yeah like what?"

"For one your incredibly beautiful and your eyes are amazing shade of blue." "No one's ever has told me I'm beautiful before."

"You are you know."

"I always thought I was fat and ugly as I was always told."

"No your not fat or ugly you're beautiful."

"You're just saying that to get me off the ledge."

"Maybe I am but I'm not. You have to see how beautiful you are." "Nope I don't believe you I'm not."

"Look at this and you will see how beautiful you are inside and out."

I looked into the mirror and I saw a ugly disgusting person looking at me. "Do you see what I see?"

"No... all I see is ugliest, disgust and someone who's broken beyond repair."

He thought for a moment and said, "Can I tell you something about my life?"

I looked at him and said, "Ok,” wondering what he could tell me to make me understand. 

"My life hasn't been easy either my Mum died when I was 4 and my Dad packet me and my baby brother up as we traveled a lot. He drummed it into me I had to protect my baby brother be his good little solider. I never had a childhood as I was looking out for my brother. Never got close to anyone as we were always moving. My Dad would leave us alone and we would run out of food. I would go hungry so my brother could eat. I would steal food for us and I got caught and went into a boys home. My Dad left me there to teach me a lesson. He eventually picked me up as he needed someone to take care of my brother. But my brother almost died and my Dad never looked at me the same after that he blamed me I was maybe 8. When my Dad died I was relieved but the lesson he taught me stayed with me. I was always watching out for my brother. I love my brother and he is an important part of my life but what Dad did was wrong. I was only a child and I had to care for my baby brother he put to much responsibility on my young shoulders. He was a self obsessed son-of-a-bitch and he didn't care until he got what he wanted."

  
"Im sorry I didn't know. My life wasn't any better my family they all ignored me and treated me like I wasn't even apart of it. My parents physically and emotionally abused me. My family treated me like I was nothing like I wasn't even there most of the time. I was called worthless more times than I can remember. It was like I didn't count and fuck that hurt me. My mother played us off on each other just to make herself important and feel better about herself. I hated her for that the way she controlled each of us to her own end. I looked after her when she was sick and she still ignored me and also went to them when she wanted advice like mine never counted. I felt like I was always in their shadows fading in the background. I felt like nothing like a bug she couldn’t kill or step on yet because she still needed me. I hate them all for helping her and now I have another family member who's trying to control my life. He never cared before and my Mum passed he wants to control me. I just can't deal with it all. I just want to kill myself for it all to end. But I was weak and tried to commit suicide several times over the years. I thought now I have no one would cared enough if I lived or died. I feel so broken, damaged, empty and tired I just want the pain to stop."

As the tears flowed down my face as he moved towards me and I took a step back. I was right on the edge when I slipped and he grabbed my wrist as my feet dangled over the edge. I didn't care if he let go I wanted it to end. 

It all happened so fast as he said, "Hang on." He pulled me up and held me in his arms as I cried and cried until there were no more tears. He was softly crying with me for all his past hurts and abuse. We held each other on that ledge for what like forever when he pulls back and leds me to his car.

He opens the door and puts me in and he climbs in the other side. He looks at me as I feel numb and distance to what was happening around me. He started the car and drove to his hotel.

He said, "This is my hotel. You're welcome to stay as long as you want too." I looked at him incredulous not believing he meant what he said.

"I'm Dean, Dean Winchester."

I mumbled, "Y/N Y/L/N."

"It good to know your name Y/N. Come on you look like you need some rest."

"Dean," he turned to look at me and he gave me Â a smile. I looked down as he gently lifts my chin and he said, "It will be better in the morning ok."

As he wiped the tears away. He gently laid me down on the bed as I pulled him down with me.

"Can you just hold me please," I said.

"Sure Baby," as he took off his jacket and shoes and mine as well. He climbed on next to me and cuddled with me. He pulled me into his body and he started singing Hey Jude to me.

I closed my eyes as I drifted off to sleep. He held me tight and thinking what to do to help me. Maybe Cas could take away the memories and the pain? I can't leave her in this much pain what if she does it again? He finally fell asleep too with all these thoughts going around in his mind.

He slept for only a few hours as he was still holding me he moved gently not to wake me as he checked his watch. It was 4am as I stirred in my sleep. I was a little disorientated when I panicked for a second until Dean said, "It alright you're safe." I remembered the day before as I realised Dean was holding me. I said, "Dean?"

"Yeah Baby," as I rolled over to look at him.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah sure anything?"

"Would you want me, I mean could you fall in love with me?"

"Definitely what's there not to love you're beautiful and hot as hell. I would tap you easy."

"Can you Dean tap me. I want to feel loved, wanted, needed and not feel so empty. I want to feel sexy and beautiful and feel pleasure can you give me that Dean?"

"I would be honoured to show you how sexy and beautiful you are Baby."

I shed a tear as he moved over and kissed it away. Then he kisses my other eye, as his breath ghosted over me as he kissed my nose and then he softly kissed my lips as he moved over them hungrily. I opened my mouth as he explored as our tongues touched. He pulled back and bit my lip gently as I moaned into the kiss. He pulled me closer to him as he deepens the kiss it was hot and fucking hell my head was spinning. He definitely knew how to use his mouth and when we pulled away we were both breathless.

He said, "Wow that was incredible and amazing Baby."

"I've never been kissed like that before Dean. It was fucking awesome," he smiles as he looks me in the eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this Baby?"

"Please Dean let me feel what it's like to be loved by someone just this once."

"Hey who said, "it would be once,” with a grin which lit up his whole face. 

"I know you have to get back to your life and brother. You don't need someone as broken and damaged as me in your life Dean."

"We all have things in our lives that cause us pain. You are not the only broken and damaged person in this bed Baby. I've done things I could never forget or take back. People have been hurt because of me."

"What happened Dean?"

"It does matter what I'm trying to say is it's ok to be broken and damage and let the pain in that's all," as he tried to get run from what he had done.

"You’re the only person to show me any kindness and listen to me. No one ever has done that for me ever,” as a single tear slips out of my left eye.”

"I know Baby,” I will always listen to you.

“Dean this may sound strange but I want you. Can you show me show love and how to feel wanted and the sensation of pleasure.”

“I would love too and by the way I want you too."

He moved to unbutton my shirt I was wearing when he looked me in the eyes as I was watching him. He smiled as he kisses my neck and sucked a bruising mark on my pulse point. I mewled with pleasure as he slowly worked his way down my body leaving little bit marks on my chest and stomach.

He looked at me as my eyes were closed and my face twisted with pleasure. He moved to my breast as he bit on it gently through the bra as he squeezed and pulled my other breast.

"Dean, Deannnnnn, oh my god Dean," I shouted.

"I'm gonna show you, you are beautiful Baby," as he lifts me off the bed and continues to pull my clothes off. I stared at him for a moment as I pulled his shirt off and then his t-shirt over his head. I kissed and sucked a mark onto his neck as I kissed his shoulder and moved down his body. I kissed his nipple and then the other as I laved my tongue over it.

He grunted as he was already hard so I moved my hands to his jeans and undid them. As I slowly unzip them and carefully pull them down. His boxers were tenting with his erection as my hand brushes over it and Dean sucks in a steadying breath. I moved my hand away as I see the lust in his olive green eyes. I kissed his mouth it was a deep and desperate kiss which I tried to hold onto as long as possible. He moved slightly to release his erection as I look a little afraid. He moved and saw the look on my face and said, "It's ok Baby I will get you ready."

"Dean it's so big will it fit?"

He laughed and said, "I've never had a girl who hasn't it fit."

"Dean what if it hurts and I can't you know?"

He looked and thought for what I was trying to say.

"You mean orgasm?"

"Yes I've never had one before, I'm a virgin Dean," as I put my head down in embarrassment and tears slip from my eyes.

"Hey look at me?" I looked up and he kissed me grabbing my hand and he tried to put it on his erection. I looked at him and he nodded that it was ok to touch him. 

"Dean what if I hurt you?"

"You won't I will show you how to give a man pleasure."

He put his hand on mine and put it over his cock it was warm and soft and felt like it was pulsing. He moved my hand up and down his shaft as his pre-cum was being spread over his cock. I gently moved my hand over his erection as he bit his lip as a whimper escaped his lips. My hand felt sticky with his pre-cum but I didn’t care Dean had his eyes closed as his whole body burned with desire. 

"Yeah Baby like that, oh that feels so good."

"Dean its feels warm and it's soft. I thought it would be hard and rough."

He laughed and said, "You better stop Baby or I will finish before I get inside you. Now are you sure you want me to make love to you Baby?"

"Make love?"

"Yes make love I want your first time to be special and you have a really good memory. Not of us having sex but of me worshipping your body and kiss every inch of it. I might hurt for a minute but the pain should go away."

"Ok Dean, please I want to make love to you."

"Lie down Baby?"

I did as he moved his hands to my legs rubbing my inner thigh as he rubbed circles over my clit. As he looked me in the eyes he moves his hands and opens my legs wide as he settles between them. He gently licks up my panties and pulls them off. He then returns to my now naked clit as he licks up it. I shiver with pleasure as I moan and I grabbed his hair pulling him closer.  
He opens my folds as he licked all the way up until he reaches my nub and he gently rubs me as I’m squirming on the bed. Dean goes down on me as I almost buck off the bed and almost squeeze Dean’s head as I pull my legs together with the pleasure as it was becoming to much.

"You taste amazing Baby."

"Deannnnnn more."

He inserted a finger and he felt how tight I was so he pushed in an inch at a time until he had he's whole finger in me. He then pulled out and pushed back in.

"Oh, god Dean that felts incredible."

"Yeah Baby your so tight on my finger."

He inserted another one as he scissor them to open me for his cock. He arched them and he knew when he founded my sweet spot as I whimpered in pleasure. He moved his fingers inside me as he added another finger as he opened me up so it wouldn’t hurt. I was also dripping wet as the pressure was building inside me. He moved at a fast pace as he felt me tightening on around fingers. 

"Deannnn what's happening? It's feels a warm and hot."

Dean pulls his head and said, "It's ok Baby that's suppose to happen your about to orgasm."

"Deann I'm god this is fucking incredible," I pant.

The warmth was building and building until Dean said, "cum for me baby."

I screamed his name as I squirted on his fingers. I said, "I didn't wet myself did I Dean?"

"No, Baby you squirted. It's your first time and fuck your hot as."

My body felt like it was floating on a cloud I felt so relaxed and loved.

He said, "Ok you ready for me Baby?"

"Yes," I breathed out.

He got his pants as he pulled out a condom and he rolls it on. He started kissing my breasts and laved his tongue over them as he bit and kissed his way down to my very wet clit. He settled over me as he looked me in the eyes, I could feel his cock at my entrance. He kissed me as he inched in slowly as my walls open around his girth. He stopped for a second and then pushed in until he reached my barrier. He look at me and I nodded as he kissed me and pushed forward. I cried out with the pleasure/pain it was more pleasure than pain. He stilled inside me when I cried out so I could adjust to his size.

I had tears flowing down my face from the intense pleaseure I felt as he looked terrified he had hurt me. He said, "Oh god Baby I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm ok it wasn’t painful Dean.”

”The tears,” as he wipes them away.

”It wasn’t pain Dean it was pleasure. No has ever,” all he can do was kiss me. I giggle into the kiss as he moans. He moves slowly as we work out a rhythm together. He pulls out and pushed back in as I was pushed forward with the thrust of his hips. He found our rhythm as he moved his thrusts hit my sweet spot and I was panting with pleasure.

"Dean harder I want to feel you tomorrow."

"I can't Baby it will hurt you."

"Dean pleaseeeee," I cried out.

Dean moved his hips faster as he was becoming sloppy as he knew I was close. "Dean I'm close."

"I know Baby I can feel you around my cock."

"Dean I'm going to cum."

"Cum for me Baby."

I screamed as the second orgasm hit as it felt like I was freefalling through the air. Dean was still moving inside me as he cried out as I squeezed his cock dry as he orgasmed too. He pumped us both through it as we become to sensitive and he collapsed on top of me. We both were breathless and sweaty as he turns his head to look as me and kisses me. He finally goes soft and moves out of me and lies next to me. 

“Dean," as I looked down and saw the blood. "Am I suppose to bleed?"

"Yeah Baby only the first time. I will go grab a cloth to clean us up," as he pulls off the condom and throws it in the bin.

He comes back with a warm cloth as he gently wipes between my legs and thighs. He goes and washes it and wipes around his cock and balls.

He said, "How do you feel Baby?"

"Good but sore is it suppose to hurt?"

"Yes but I think I got a bit rough with you?"

"No you didn't you were gently and caring. I'm the one who asked for you to go harder. That was amazing Dean I've never felt anything like it. It was like I was freefall and I feel peace and utter bliss."

"I'm glad you felt at peace Baby."

"You're leaving soon aren't you?"

"Yes, I have to get back."

"I know thank you giving me this beautiful memory I will never forget you."

"Hey I'm not gone yet."

"I know but you can't stay and I can't go with you."

"Why can't you?"

"You don't want me in your life Dean. I know how it is. A one night stand and nothing more."

"You really just want a one night stand?"

"If that's what you want yes."

"Baby?"

"It's ok really Dean. I will be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes," as I look at the window at the rain we hadn't notice was falling and the sun was coming up.

"I'm going to shower."

"Ok, I think I might sleep some more."

"Ok," as he kisses me and heads for the shower. I heard the water running as he washes himself. When he comes out I made out I was asleep as the tears fall silently down my face.

"Baby you awake? I guess not. Thank you for this morning you were incredible," as he kisses my head and quietly leaves the hotel.

When I heard the door close I sat up and let the tears fall. I thought he cared about me all I was, was another fuck. Jesus why do I do this to myself. I worthless, I’m a nobody, no one will ever want me. Why did I let him in when I should have just jumped it would be over. All the pain gone and I would never have to experience the pleasure he gave me, gone I’m so messed up. 

Dean hopped in the Impala and drove off he got a couple of miles out when he kept thinking about my body under his. How my eyes looked in the throes of passion.

"Fuck what was I thinking leaving her there. I’ve never made love to anyone it was just sex. Here I am just made love to a beautiful woman and I left her alone," he screech the tyres as he turned the car around. He sped back  to the hotel when he arrived he found me crying naked on the bed.

I looked up when the door opened and saw Dean standing in the doorway. All he could do was kiss me with such passion I felt it through my whole body.

I hiccuped, "You cammm, came back."

"I'm sorry Baby I should have left you. Do you want to come with me?"

"Are you sure Dean I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not I think I might be falling in love with you Baby?"

"Dean, I thought you didn't want me."

"Jesus, Baby you're all I can think about. Please come with me. I will show you how much you are loved and wanted for the rest of your life."

"You will truly. You really think your falling in love with me."

"Yes I do, it was went you almost fell. My heart friggin stopped in my chest."

"I think I might love you too Dean."

"So you will come?"

"Yes I will come."

He beams the biggest smile I have ever seen and said, "Ok, better go shower and get dressed we have a long drive ahead."

"Ok,” as he taps my bottom. I looked at his with lust in my eyes. He saw the look and joined me in the shower but that's for another time.  
All I know I was happy for the first time in my life and I had a complete stranger show me what love is and to be wanted. I had Dean Winchester for the rest of my life and he had me as well.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story I wrote this because I was in a bad place. Thank you for your wonderful comments and kudos much appreciated.
> 
> Remember Always Keep Fighting.


End file.
